Day From Hell

So, I haven't been able to sleep really since coming up here to DC. So, me being up until 4 a.m. floating around the Internet is not really unusual these days, especially if I don't have a job the next morning.

Well, I got called in to a last minute hearing today. Got the call at 10:15 saying that the hearing was supposed to be at 10:00 and the original reporter didn't show up, asked if I could take the job. SURE!!! But I sure am sleepy.

Don't gross out though....I didn't have time to take a shower. I know, I know, eww. But I had to get to Manassas which is an hour away very quickly. So, I threw on my pinstriped very sassy suit, grabbed my machine and flew out the door.

Well, apparently people in Virginia freak out when it rains, and there's hella traffic. It takes me an hour and a half to get there. So when I show up in the courtroom, the lawyer turns around to me and says, "We don't need you anymore." WHAT? Are you serious?

I was livid. I still get paid for an appearance fee, but just the way he talked to me was enough to get me all riled up. I'm not the reporter who skipped out on you @#$@#&*!#@! LOL.

Oh well. I go get back in my beemer and jump on the highway only to get hit by some flying shrapnel from an 18-wheeler. I had to pull over on the side of the highway (with the shoulder being like, I don't know, 1" wide) and check out what was dragging underneath my car. It was my undercarriage/bumper. Totally hanging off and ripped in half. I'm kicking the car and cursing in my fly suit. I'm not a happy camper. Thank God I had some duct tape in my trunk. (Back off me, I'm from Texas. My Daddy taught me well.) I duct taped my pretty little car up and went on my way.

It's now 2 p.m. and I am at home, venting on this blog. I made some fajitas, YUMMY, and am drinking a few glasses of Riesling out of a juice glass. How old am I?

(Sighs) Let's just hope the crap is over for the day. My old self is gonna get drunk by myself at 2 in the afternoon. Peace out!

(Addition at 9 p.m.)

And just when I thought that was enough, I fell out of my chair reaching for my phone, knocked over my machine, broke my paper tray, and now I have a nasty little gash on my forehead. Can someone please fast-foward the time? If I was remotely negative, I might have gone off the deep end, but for whatever reason, it makes me laugh. I mean, who falls out of their chair? REALLY?