I was so amused by this. Thought I would share.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Criminal Minds
Tonight's episode of Criminal Minds was doubly amusing for me. Now, I'm a big Law and Order fan, CSI fan, any law show fan. But for whatever reason, I've never seen this show before tonight.
This episode was about a serial killer that was going through town shooting up victims and it turned out to be a court reporter. Basically, the losers that got off easy in his courtroom for terrible things he went out, hunted down and shot 'em up. But I guess while he was doing it, he was air typing the whole case over again on his air steno machine. That's what all the witnesses kept telling cops, that he was pretending to play the piano or something like that. HA!
So when the cops finally put two and two together and realized it was him, they went to the courtroom to arrest him, only he had called in sick. His backup reporter was typing on a circa 1972 manual machine that no one even makes anymore and wasn't even touching the keys. Just grinds me wrong. UGHHH!!!
Then, when they went to his apartment, he had boxes and boxes of notes...in his apartment!!! HELLO...who does that? Yes, we take work home with us, but we don't have a special "notes in Iron Mountain boxes" room. It's called the courthouse vault or Big Mike's Storage Hall. And if you still have paper notes, you are close to retirement. Have you heard of computers and electronic files? It's called burn it to a CD. Geez!!!
This is one of those times where I just want to call someone up in Hollywood and give them a lesson. You know, us guardians of the record do watch your shows too. Might be good to do all of your research instead of focusing it on some lame, fake courtroom with some goofy, grandstanding lawyers. My rates are cheap AND I'm available on weekends. LOL...
But overall, the show was really good...like, really, really good. I totally loved it. If I weren't a court reporter, I would have taken claim on the show as a favorite, but when you sterotype us as single, ugly, four-eyed ogres that are psycho, I get a little offended.
This episode was about a serial killer that was going through town shooting up victims and it turned out to be a court reporter. Basically, the losers that got off easy in his courtroom for terrible things he went out, hunted down and shot 'em up. But I guess while he was doing it, he was air typing the whole case over again on his air steno machine. That's what all the witnesses kept telling cops, that he was pretending to play the piano or something like that. HA!
So when the cops finally put two and two together and realized it was him, they went to the courtroom to arrest him, only he had called in sick. His backup reporter was typing on a circa 1972 manual machine that no one even makes anymore and wasn't even touching the keys. Just grinds me wrong. UGHHH!!!
Then, when they went to his apartment, he had boxes and boxes of notes...in his apartment!!! HELLO...who does that? Yes, we take work home with us, but we don't have a special "notes in Iron Mountain boxes" room. It's called the courthouse vault or Big Mike's Storage Hall. And if you still have paper notes, you are close to retirement. Have you heard of computers and electronic files? It's called burn it to a CD. Geez!!!
This is one of those times where I just want to call someone up in Hollywood and give them a lesson. You know, us guardians of the record do watch your shows too. Might be good to do all of your research instead of focusing it on some lame, fake courtroom with some goofy, grandstanding lawyers. My rates are cheap AND I'm available on weekends. LOL...
But overall, the show was really good...like, really, really good. I totally loved it. If I weren't a court reporter, I would have taken claim on the show as a favorite, but when you sterotype us as single, ugly, four-eyed ogres that are psycho, I get a little offended.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Briefly Speaking
Here are a few briefs that I have become very fond of. If you can incorporate them into your writing now, you'll be much better off...TRUST!!!
STAO - State of
STAO/TX - State of Texas...you can do these with one strokers of all the states.
H-J - headache
R-FP - research
S-FP - search
P-FP - porch
TOJ - to your knowledge
T*OJ - to my knowledge
S-L - simple
S*L - simply
S*M - sympathy
PLE - employee
PLOI - employ
PLOIR - employer
PL*OI - ploy
REP/REP - Republican
P*OS/P*OS - post-traumatic stress syndrome
WARBDZ - Washington, D.C.
TAOILT/# - Title (Roman Numerals) 7 and 9 are the most widely used. At least add those.
PET/PET - petroleum
D*IP or DIP/DIP - diploma
R*IP - relationship
P*IP - partnership
F*IP - friendship
P*UP - pickup (as in the truck)
-----------------------------
Then, if you're using Fall/Spring/Summer/Winter of '0#, you can make it to where the apostrophe is in front of the 0 and the season is capped by making four simple dictionary entries:
SURM/OF/0 - Summer of '0 and the same with the other three seasons.
Yes, the season is capped if it's used in this sequence.
----------------------------
Also, if you're using a year brief for your years, and there's a # preceding that, you can have the comma and the space go in beforehand without having to worry about that edit every time.
#, 2007
---------------------------
And lastly for today, your exhibits. When a client says, "Now, let's refer to Exhibit Number 3..." it needs to be capped like that. So I would make one entry and set it up like this:
-X/NURM/# - Exhibit Number
Until next time...GOOD LUCK ON THOSE TESTS!!! See you folks in September.
STAO - State of
STAO/TX - State of Texas...you can do these with one strokers of all the states.
H-J - headache
R-FP - research
S-FP - search
P-FP - porch
TOJ - to your knowledge
T*OJ - to my knowledge
S-L - simple
S*L - simply
S*M - sympathy
PLE - employee
PLOI - employ
PLOIR - employer
PL*OI - ploy
REP/REP - Republican
P*OS/P*OS - post-traumatic stress syndrome
WARBDZ - Washington, D.C.
TAOILT/# - Title (Roman Numerals) 7 and 9 are the most widely used. At least add those.
PET/PET - petroleum
D*IP or DIP/DIP - diploma
R*IP - relationship
P*IP - partnership
F*IP - friendship
P*UP - pickup (as in the truck)
-----------------------------
Then, if you're using Fall/Spring/Summer/Winter of '0#, you can make it to where the apostrophe is in front of the 0 and the season is capped by making four simple dictionary entries:
SURM/OF/0 - Summer of '0 and the same with the other three seasons.
Yes, the season is capped if it's used in this sequence.
----------------------------
Also, if you're using a year brief for your years, and there's a # preceding that, you can have the comma and the space go in beforehand without having to worry about that edit every time.
#, 2007
---------------------------
And lastly for today, your exhibits. When a client says, "Now, let's refer to Exhibit Number 3..." it needs to be capped like that. So I would make one entry and set it up like this:
-X/NURM/# - Exhibit Number
Until next time...GOOD LUCK ON THOSE TESTS!!! See you folks in September.
Funny Stuff
I had this guy today that had diarrhea of the mouth that just wouldn't stop talking. He went on for almost nine pages talking about what he does for work and it's a divorce case. HELLO! Do you really think the lawyer wants a detailed description of your curriculum vitae, Dad? I think not.
Anyway, there were two really amusing parts of the day and I thought I would share since I know I've been totally slacking in the blog department since my vacay. I'll catch up somehow. (winks)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Does your internist prescribe that for you?
A: No. Internists don't prescribe medicines for that. There's a physician by the name of John -- what's John's last name?
Q: Errant?
A: No. I can't think of his last name.
Q: It's a side effect of the mediciation he prescribed for you.
A: Yeah, right. I'll come back to that. Now, what was I saying?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A: I was working for a small association that worked for corporations that used Oracle Business Application Software. Are you familiar with Oracle software?
Q: Sure.
OPPOSING ATTORNEY: You are?
QUESTIONING ATTORNEY: Sure. I am an oracle after all. Let the record note that the court reporter smiled at that arrogance.
Anyway, there were two really amusing parts of the day and I thought I would share since I know I've been totally slacking in the blog department since my vacay. I'll catch up somehow. (winks)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Does your internist prescribe that for you?
A: No. Internists don't prescribe medicines for that. There's a physician by the name of John -- what's John's last name?
Q: Errant?
A: No. I can't think of his last name.
Q: It's a side effect of the mediciation he prescribed for you.
A: Yeah, right. I'll come back to that. Now, what was I saying?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A: I was working for a small association that worked for corporations that used Oracle Business Application Software. Are you familiar with Oracle software?
Q: Sure.
OPPOSING ATTORNEY: You are?
QUESTIONING ATTORNEY: Sure. I am an oracle after all. Let the record note that the court reporter smiled at that arrogance.
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