I've heard of some really strange places to take a deposition from reporters all over such as a mens' restroom, a murder scene, a cancer patient's hospital room, etc.
Well, yesterday I showed up for my deposition in The Sticks, Maryland at a really nice law firm, only to find out that was just the meeting place. We weren't actually doing the deposition there. We were doing it on the deer lease. Really? Maybe he could have warned me so I could wear jeans and an orange vest and could have even brought some bug spray while I was at it. Oh no, he told everyone but Miss Court Reporter. So there I was with my machine, my laptop, in a suit driving a BMW through the freaking sticks in a deer lease. I didn't sign up for this!
When I get there, I notice that somewhere in the midst of driving over God's Holy Land, I lost one side of the grill of my car. So not happy. I almost bottomed out twice. I was hoping that they had some sort of crane to lift me out of there in case. I was beginning to worry.
We get up to this cute little hut (no lie) before I realize...oh crap, I hope this doesn't take too long because 1) my laptop battery only goes so long, as does my machine battery and there is no electricity out here, and 2) I'm on my heaviest day of Mother Nature's finest. He best make this quick. Now I'm mad.
He points to a little picnic table and says, "Have a seat and let's get the ball rollin." He wants me to sit where for five hours? Oh hell nah! My back will be killing me after an hour and I'm not a bench player damnitt. (for you softball peeps...thought you'd get a kick out of that thought that seriously ran through my head.)
Okay. I'm a big girl. I can do this. Let's get started...seriously, five hours later, my PMS is starting to kick in as these attorneys are actually eating in front of me. I thought about my co-worker Terri and her reaction to the guys that asked her if they could order pizza while they still talked. She said, "Only if you feed me so I can still write." Sometimes, they just don't have the best thought process for us technical folk. UGH!
Anyway, my computer had already gone caput but my machine was just starting to beep at this point, letting me know that it's O-VA!!! Let's finish this already.
I interrupted Mr. Diarrhea of the Mouth Attorney 1 letting him know that my machine was about to die and we need to take this back to the firm if he wants the rest of this on the record when I realized...I'll be damned. I had a chair in the car!
Oh em gee!!!
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